Ten point beeping computer humuor for frustrated computer users

1. My computer beeps. The aliens must be coming. Build a bunker and take cover.

2. It crashes. It must be thirsty. Pour red wine into the keyboard. It will reward you with timeless blue screens.

3. When something from the computer begins to smell it must be incredibly angry and frustrated. What is the solution? Try sweet talking it.

4. A big blue screen shows up. That must mean it wants to go on holidays and all those fancy numbers on the screen are its flight booking. Maybe its had too much red wine.

5. Anti virus on my computer is assisting scientists with frog biology.

6. When software inserted refuses to work it must mean that the frogs have rebelled against the scientists and are causing a riot from drinking too much red wine.

7. Rebels in foreign countries will require specially trained frogs to operate computer terminals.

8. If a computer crashes while being used by Kermit the frog it could mean that aliens have decided to invade.

9. A black screen on a computer could mean it is not turned on. Or it could mean that its holiday has been cancelled and that from now on in it is going to sleep.

10. If all the above occur at once then a psychiatric examination is advisable .....................................for the  computer!